When it comes to money, you have to watch what you say. Clearly, the impact of your words is linked to the particular developmental stage your child is going through. Similarly, your own relationship with money, in terms of acquisition, use, and management, unconsciously shapes your words. What and how you communicate to a child about money determines not just if he is fiscally responsible but socially responsible as well. Parents who learn to talk about money in appropriate ways usually raise well-adjusted, responsible, and value-conscious children.

Translating Appropriate Values into Words

One of the most difficult challenges for parents is communicating positive values in money conversations. Listed below are some of the most commonly asked questions and concerns you will hear from your child. These represent golden opportunities to convey sound money values that you can capitalize on. Try answering the following quiz and see if you can identify the value boosting response.

1.Are we rich?

	No. That's not something you need to worry about. You better believe it. We are fortunate to have enough money for ourselves and to be able to help others.
2.Why can't I have that (any toy)?
	We can't afford it. Because if we get you this toy, then you will want another one and another one after that, and pretty soon you will turn into the greediest boy in the neighbourhood, and you don't want that, do you? Because it's expensive, and we don't believe in buying everything we see just because we want it. If you really want it, let us know and perhaps we will get it for your birthday or another special occasion. Because I said so.
3.I accidentally took this candy bar from the store without paying for it; what should I do?
	I will take you back to the store right now, and you are going to return it and apologize. Normally I would make you return it, but that store charges ridiculous prices, so this just even things out. Let's talk about why you did it. Tell me how you felt and what thought were you going to accomplish. I am going to call the police. You will have to explain to them what happened.
4. Grandma gave me Baht 2,000. I am seven years old, and why can't I spend it the way I want?  We think you could save some of it. Let's sit down and talk about it. What are your ideas?
	Because it's important for you to start saving for your education now- college cost a great deal of money. Because you know you are just going to spend it on something you won't care about a year from now. Because you would hurt grandma's feelings if you spent the money on junk.
5 The kids at school are talking about your company and saying we have more money than anybody else. What should I tell them?
	Tell them we are not rich. Just ignore them. Explain that although we may be wealthier than other families, we worked hard to be in this position, and if they work hard, they can be wealthy too. You are upset about this aren't you? What bothers you the most about what they are saying
6.All my friends have new cars, and I need a car to get to school. Will you get me one?
	I had an old car when I was growing up, and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you. I will get you a new car on the condition that you make the honour roll next semester. Absolutely not. You are not getting a car until you can afford to buy one yourself. There is nothing wrong with taking the bus. I will help you buy a safe used car, but we need to sit down and work out the rules, like when you will be home in the evening.
7.Why should I get a summer job? We have plenty of money.
	You don't get an allowance during the summer. If you intend to go out with friends or buy anything for yourself, you need to earn some money. We do have plenty of money, but we didn't earn it by hanging around department stores. You have a lot of growing up to do and you can start by finding a job. You don't have to get a summer job, but we think it would be a good idea. If you don't get a summer job, then you have to do the following tasks around the house.

Answers that build positive values are: 1. (d) 2. (c) 3. (a) 4. (a) 5. (d) 6. (d) 7. (a)

As you look at these answers, certain dos and don'ts emerge. Specifically:

•  Do be honest; don't tell you child you can't afford something if you really can afford it. Explain why you do not want to buy it.

•  Do connect the concept of money with that of responsibility; don't absolve your children of responsibility for their actions simply because you have money.

•  Do help them understand that there are limits on spending; don't allow them to spend freely without limits or conditions.

•  Do acknowledge your child's negative feelings about money and wealth; don't pretend those feelings are unimportant or will go away.

•  Do treat their questions with respect; don't try to shame them into changing their behaviour.

Age Differences

You obviously need to talk about money differently with your children depending on their ages. It is convenient to think in terms of three age ranges: under age five, from six to twelve, and from thirteen to eighteen. These are fairly loose groupings and where your child fits depends on his or her maturity.

Ages Five and Under

Until children are two or so, money has absolutely no meaning. Your children, however, are sensitive to your moods and can pick up the fact that you are anxious or calm in different situations. The issue here is not so much what you say to your kids about money but what you communicate through your tone of voice, body language and interactions with your spouse. A three year old may not associate paying bills with money but he will remember if your financial attitude about paying bills involve anxiety and controversy between you and your spouse.

Another way you communicate with your child is through the television programme you allow him or her to watch. You should limit your pre-school child's exposure to television advertising because of their natural “wanting” tendency. Infants want to be fed and changed; they want adults with whom they can form a secure attachment. Advertising, however, can help push this wanting from normal to abnormal levels. Even if they can't understand the precise significance of a commercial, they can easily sense that a soft drink, a car or a computer game is highly desirable. An environment that stimulates a young child's wanting impulse is especially pronounced in affluent homes, where wants can be easily translated into needs and needs into purchases.

What pre-schoolers can and should learn, however, is the concept of saving. Kids start to develop the ability to think logically and begin to connect concepts around the age of three. Instead of using a traditional piggy bank, try using a clear glass jar to put loose changes. In this way your kids can see the jars filling up and relish the notion of accumulating quantities of coins.

Six to Twelve years Old

Although, it's fine to loosen up restrictions on watching television commercials at this point. School age kids are less susceptible to the wanting impulse than pre-school children but moderation in the time spent in front of the television is still advisable. Perhaps the most significant issue for this age group is buying things. This is the point when kids start making purchases on their own and parents need to exercise a guiding influence.

As part of this influence, parents can provide children with allowance. Most younger children in this age category are prone to immediate gratification and are likely to blow their allowances on whatever strikes their fancy. It's better to start the allowance process earlier and let kids make their budgeting mistakes when they are less likely to engage you in emotional battles over their insufficient funds. Younger children can and should make learning mistakes so that when they are older, they will be better able to handle their allowances. Kids as young as eight can be taught to budget and select from among alternatives. After a few mistakes, children this age usually get it that they have to choose between A and B depending on which one is more important.

Finally, you will find children in this age group will become aware of lifestyle differences between your family and others (friends, relatives, etc.). They will be natural curious about why a neighbour has two cars and you only have one. They will wonder why your house is smaller than friends at school. Capitalize on these opportunities to discuss your values and to explain how those values are reflected in the way your family makes choices on how you spend money.

Thirteen to Eighteen Years Old

Money, not to mention affluence, carries with it responsibility and adolescence is the time to expand learning to be responsible for how you spend and save your money. When you talk to your kids about money, address issues such as the cost of a given item versus its value to the individual, what constitutes an “overpriced” product or service and the idea of setting and adhering to a reasonable budget. What may seem like simple issues to you are often mysterious for teenagers. This is the age where your child knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. This is particularly true among kids that grew up in an affluent environment. They tend to lack any sense of fiscal responsibility and are lost when it comes to making buying choices within a budget.

There are a number of things that parents can do to foster discussions about money such as opening a bank account where your child can deposit his or her allowance as well as gifts. Keeping the account in balance is great training in budgeting and money management. A credit card should also be viewed in the same light. The card should have a limit rationally related to the child's allowance and ability to pay.

Ideally your thirteen year old child should have learned how to allocate his or her allowance among fixed expenses, weekly personal spending and savings. As allowances increase and as additional money comes in through part-time jobs, budgeting tasks and spending choices become more complex. In addition your teenager should be encouraged to budget for longer periods of time i.e. the entire month or the whole school semester.

You should also attempt to involve your children in researching major purchases. If you are going to purchase a new car or replace the refrigerator, let your teenagers help you evaluate both product quality and price. Such participation not only makes them responsible in part for the purchase but offers you the chance to talk about money issues in a way that directly involve them.